A Collection

I have a smattering of things running through my mind this morning.  Here they are, in no particular order:

• I am thankful that sometime around a year ago, my very strong-willed father yielded to his equally strong-willed daughter and got in the car to go to the hospital when she was certain he was having a heart attack late at night.  He indeed was, and according to the doctors, would not have survived the one that was most likely coming within hours after the first one.  I cannot even write about it without tears coming to my eyes.  I was given more time with my Dad, which I can never be thankful enough for.
• I get a very nervous tummy thinking about going home to the States.  I am daily receiving emails and notes from people asking when I will spend time with them.  I used to think a friend of mine was being ridiculous when he would be grumpy about coming home for a visit because he knew that everyone would want to see him, and he knew he wouldn't have enough time.  I thought he was just being selfish, but now that I too am facing this, I realize that my feelings of nervousness are not from being selfish, but because I know I will not have enough breakfasts, lunches, dinners, or coffee/ice cream times to meet one on one with everyone who wants time with me.  This is not me thinking, "Wow, EVERYONE wants to spend time with ME," it's just the realization that I am loved, and I love them back, and if I could, I would spend time with each person separately.  I don't want to disappoint anyone.  Yet I know this is going to happen.  I am faced with a short amount of time to recoup energy, plan for the coming time in Haiti, AND maintain friendships and relationships.  I am overwhelmed at thinking about this.
• I cannot wait to be back with my family.  My family family, my church family, and my sisters in Christ.
• I am going to miss my kids here, and I am concerned that they will think that I have abandoned them.  Explaining that I will only be gone a few weeks makes no sense to them.  Every day that I leave now, they ask if I will come back the next day.  They've started asking when I am going to the United States.  They ask when I will return.  Days and weeks do not mean anything to kids.  I wish I could somehow reassure them that I will come back.
• I need a hair trim like no body's business.
• I cannot wait to hug my family.
• Will everything be different when I get home?  Will I have changed, and not fit anymore?  
• My toe has healed to the point where there are no more open spots.  It is very tender, but I think in a day or two I can go band-aid less.  (I did battle with a bag of beans, and my big toenail lost the battle.  There will not be a round 2.)

I'm sure there are more things running around this brain, but I'm going to have some quiet worship time and get a few messages from John in this morning.