Josiane

Sweet Josie

My sweet baby girl Josie went to be with Jesus Sunday morning.  She fought harder for her life, for every single breath, that I am ashamed at how easy mine has been thus far.  Josie was born on January 2, 2012.  She lived with her mom and dad, but then her mom got really sick.  Her mom died in April, leaving her father to care for her.  When I met Josie, she was crying.  At seven in the morning, she was screaming.  I immediately asked if I could hold her, not even knowing the situation or why this small family was at the orphanage so early.  But I could tell that Dad was exhausted, and I thought a fresh set of 'holding hands' might be welcomed.  I walked with her, I bounced her, I tried to feed her.  All to no avail.  She continued screaming.  I changed her diaper, I sang softly to her (my soft singing voice is quite lovely...amplified, not so much.)  The father began telling his story, of his baby girl who had seemingly cried for months.  He said the only time she didn't cry was when her mom was breastfeeding her.  There was something different about Josie, she was soft, like she didn't have much muscle tone.  And her mouth was really short, so when she cried you could see all the way down her throat.  After bringing Josie into the house, we quickly learned she had some other things working against her.  She had seizures.  Not big ones that people notice, but the spacing out in the eyes, small ones.  Our pediatrician saw this immediately, and started getting tests done to figure out to how to best help this little one.  Before the first test results could come in, Josie was hospitalized with what we were told was meningitis.  This created quite the panic around Maison, but it was eventually determined that her illness wasn't meningitis at all.  She stayed in the hospital with Mommy Murielle for a week, being treated with antibiotics for pneumonia (and meningitis).  She came back home to us, but it was soon evident that this baby girl was struggling.  The nannies propped her up with pillows so she could see what was going on.  Mommy Violette made mobiles out of pipe cleaners, and strung interesting colorful objects in her crib to stimulate her visually.  Not quite a month later, I took Josie back to the hospital.  She wasn't breathing right.  She had pneumonia again.  This time she was treated at the orphanage.  She was growing, eating well, enjoying one on one time with her nanny in the small room by the nurse's office.  She would 'talk' to me when I went to visit her.  She began to move a little bit more.
Sometime in all of this, we learned that Josie has some pretty serious neurological stuff happening.  She needed further testing, testing not available in Haiti.  She continued to have seizures, to struggle with her breathing, and to have troubles eating.

June 2012

Then she got pneumonia again.  Hallie and I had two sick babies at the hospital on the same night.  We took one, then the other one met us there a few hours later.  Both struggling to breathe.  They were both admitted, sharing a bed because there was no other space.  The doctors risking trouble with their supervisors, because there simply was not room in the pediatric area, yet they squeezed a bed in and put them both in it.  Josie spent another week at the hospital, with pneumonia.  Chest X-rays confirmed it each time.  No one could determine why this continued to happen.  Again, Mommy Mureille worked day and night for this little one.  I stopped by the hospital on a Sunday after church to visit.  The doctor decided to release both girls.  They were doing well, breathing on their own, healing.  It was a huge victory!
That was a short month ago.  While my sister was in Haiti with me, she was able to go to the laboratory with me to experience Haitian health care (because we are so insanely blessed with resources to provide the limited health care available.  Thank you Jesus.)  Josie was on an IV, and we needed her to pee.  She refused to comply, but we spent some good time snuggling with her in the lab!

June 2012 with Mommy Mureille

Josie spent most of her time in the little room by the nurse's office, receiving love and care from a nanny assigned to the sick room.  About 2 weeks ago Josie moved back to the baby room.  I would visit her there, and she was happy and content to be in the midst of the action with the other children.  She looked healthy, happy.  I saw her on this side of heaven last Thursday.  She was hanging out in a bouncy seat.  I stopped and talked to her, and she moved her mouth along with mine.
I received an email early Sunday morning saying Josie was in serious trouble, and to pray.  I immediately began praying for this precious child.  Less than an hour later the next email informed me Josie had gone to be with Jesus.  The oxygen hadn't been enough this time.  The first hospital tried to get her stabilized for the next hospital, but it wasn't to be.  She died immediately upon arriving at the second hospital.
I wasn't there.  In God's infinite wisdom and love, I wasn't there.  I'm still having mixed emotions and feelings about not being there.  But I know this: Josie didn't die alone.  She died in the arms of women who love her, who bathed her, fed her, rocked her.  She knew the incredible love of Jesus on this earth, even in her struggles for life.  She went from the arms that love her to the arms of the One who created her and redeemed her, so that her body and mind are whole and perfect, and that she is in the place where there are no more tears or sorrow or death.  Hallelujah, what a Savior!